I have been lazy in the past six months. Disappointment from work? Yes. I mean, getting rejected from JET is one thing, and working at Home Depot is another. Why would such a turn of events happen like this? However, things like getting my cassettes out, performing live, relationships, and published works have improved. I write this with two bandages on my palms, one on my knee, and two scabs on my elbows and one around my stomach. I fell off my bike, listening to The Orb. Ouch.
I really only have the time to write when I get on my typewriter. This typewriter, an Alphasmart Neo2 (a digital one to be exact). If I am going to upload this piece on my blog, I have to attach this into my computer and send the text. It was nice having a cloud button on the Freewrite, but it was for show. This device is better to use. My writing has improved using this typewriter.
Now what I really wanted to write about was actually an update on my existence. I will upload some of my other writings to my blog as well, just will take some time. I am the introverted type, and tend to leave the work I made hidden from the public until I (or someone) gets the work up online.
I swear a month ago I had some good ideas to write about. I wrote a “to-do” list like I always do. However, my ideas are still “blocks.” Only did I start to recently figure out that the action of writing breaks down this block into comprehensive meaning. The less I write, I will decay faster. Writing preserves my 26 year old self on a canvas. So many people live their life without recording the past. Yes, we have social media, YouTube, cooperate watchdogs farming us as capital. My blog is owned by Google, I can’t do anything about that. This blog is digital, not physical. Their is a high chance the internet goes down, and everything we uploaded is lost. It is why I published my books so that I have piece of the past recorded.
I had many good ideas back in February, but I think I lost those theories. I wake up one day, write it on a post-it note, and tell myself I can forget it forever now that it has been written down. Too late, I did actually forget about it.
I have been spending more of my time filming myself than writing. I can improve upon my acting. Improvised ideas come out naturally when I film myself for 10 minutes. Those 10 minutes speaking could actually be written on my Alphasmart. I could use my fingers and type out the words, by QWERTY standard (I gave up on COLEMAK two years ago), and get out the same thought, yet with bigger words and comprehensive logic. The latter makes me sound like a Harvard graduate, yes? Much of creative writing today has been boiled down as a transcript for those who speak. Logical writing is used as instructions and in academia. Too bad the system is becoming more depraved by being “creative.”
Old people read. Young people watch. Yet as I watch, I am becoming more passive.
…That one thought that came back to me. Why am I glued to my smartphone? Why, for the past three months, allowed myself to write “good morning” for a girl I am not so sure I will be with? Why, in my spare time, is binge watching random videos about how to work Reason and political echo chambers? There are good amount of projects I am getting out by the end of June, but in these past 6 months, have I changed into a passive consumer. I need to step out of the internet world and back in the physical.
Working the internet is a job. It’s a drug. It’s also a mind killer. Instead of becoming an artist, I am joining the millennial collective as passive consumer, consuming things I could possibly do by action. Action means work, and work causes pain. This is a common translation for most people. Yet action creates art. It’s a matter of me getting off my smartphone and getting onto this Neo2 and writing something.
Always that thought crosses me by as I write, “Why didn’t I write earlier? I feel so much better about myself. Starting today, I will create a new habit where I will write every day, until 2020, when I will become an expert.”
Everyone has those thoughts. I been doing those habits for quite some time now. But again, it’s about action, not consumerism.
Right now, I am going to clean my room.